Wednesday

We're Back..

So as many of you know, Nate and I got married 7-11-10 on a beautiful beach in Hawaii. So we celebrated our first year married.. we originally planned our anniversary cruise around Christmas to Mexico (Costa Maya, Cozumel), Belize and Isle of Roatan off the coast of Honduras. We were so excited with the prospect of a romantic getaway and trying to concieve another child (this was shortly after our first miscarriage and we decided summer was the time to try again). Than shortly before the trip we found out we were pregnant. We were estatic and just rearranged our excursions to be safe..as you also know I than had a miscarriage right before the trip. Which also made us reevaluate our trip. Fortunately we were able to go on our vacation still... It wasn't romantic because I was still having the physical side effects of the miscarriage (bleeding, pain, exhaustion, hott flashes..etc), plus on a cocktail of meds which make you feel so pleasant and we weren't able to think about concieving because the obvious reasons. So what our original plan of the romantic baby making getaway was washed away like the tsunami in Japan, we decided to rebuild our plans immediately.  

It was a welcomed getaway- which at first I didn't even want to go on. I am so glad we did.  We were unplugged from the world for over a week- no internet, no email, no cell phones. No one asking me are you okay- or telling me what I should feel or how we should try this. It was blissful- wake up slow, relax and enjoy the most serene place to be the ocean (which was such a blessing this trip was planned because the ocean and all it's majesty has a way of healing a person).

It was just me and my husband in a beautiful location- 'dealing with the cards we were dealt' as Nate says and cherishing our year married.

We both acknowledged this isn't where we thought we'd be one year married..not that we didn't want to be married still. We both are still over the moon with each other- we just thought the first year would be the honeymoon still not dealing with loss.  But if I could chose anyone to stand by me in the good and the bad I know it would be Nate. "We're in this togeather" he keeps reminding me.. and I know we are.

I cherish the quiet moments we had on the boat sitting in the deck chairs next to each other with the wind blowing and not having to say a word, just knowing the other person is there. I cherish that we had time to swallow what just happened and this time we actually spoke about it out loud- instead of avoiding it and ignoring it like it would go away. We acknowledged how the other person felt and what we thought the future held.. and it was beautiful.
I cherish that we were able to meet new people and for 8 days- no one knew what we were going thru and treated us normal- instead of asking how are you? When will you try again? Have you talked to someone or looked at all your options.. to them we were just Nate and Tricia celebrating our one year anniversary. We were just the couple in love and having a great time. 

When we got on the boat I thought wow- I can be so distracted from all the pain, I never want to go home. By day 8 Nate and I both agreed we were ready to be home in our house, with our dog and sleep in our bed. I thought coming home would be hard for me.. but it has been good. We stayed detached from the world for an extra day upon coming home. Went to dinner for our anniversary, ate our one year old cake topper, danced to Jack Johnson's Better Togeather, and looked thru our wedding album/honeymoon album. It was nice.. 

And Nate and I have started to realize that life is worth living for the beautifl things. We talked so much during our trip and what we felt called to and I am so blessed to have a husband on the same page. I am okay- I am still hurting but if we dwell on the gloomy parts of our lives we would never feel for the happy parts. So we cherish the moments in which life has blessed us with beautiful things. In that I wanted to post pictures of our wedding (random order of course).. felt like forever ago. 

Happy Anniversary Dear- I know we're in this togeather till the end! 











 My sisters above- My Train and wedding shoes Below





 My veil- our rings and my bouquet above, My Grandpa & Grandma Cates Below







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