Piper's Birth Story

Friday the day I turned 30 weeks I started having a tissue spotting that was slightly pink. I had been contracting on and off but they weren't too concerned. They said the tissue matter was minimal and was my cervix possibly changing. I also started walking to the nurses station since I the plan was to go home in a week or so. They wanted me to test the waters in the hospital. I walked once a day. We thought hey it's fine my cervix was the longest they ever measured.. 

For two days straight Sunday and Monday I would contract for hours. They checked me once and my cervix had not dilated. We thought ok we can make it to 32 weeks. Tuesday at 1 am I awoke to go to the restroom and I had blood.. In addition to the blood I had the most clear mucus I've ever seen. Which I had been slowly noticing since Friday, but when mentioned they said it was possibly my mucus plug due to the tissue matter too. But I knew something was definitely wrong, I yelled for Nate to get the nurse right away. Ive never seen Nate spring up so fast from a deep sleep. My nurse Jenny who we loved came rushing in. They called the dr on staff but they didn't want to check my cervix. I bleed till 6 am when the UT specialist came in. I told them what was happening. One resident thought it might be placenta aburbtion, slowly tearing away from the wall. The dr wasn't concerned he thought it was just my cervix changing. Nate actually thought about going into work but I was freaked out. They ordered a biophysical ultrasound. As the ultrasound tech was looking she was assuring me baby is ok and placenta is not tearing.  But I requested they check my fluid. Sure enough I saw the fluid was low. As soon as we got out of ultrasound, we roll past Sandra's office and I tell her that my fluid is low. She said  "ok honey we will do the amnio test." She rushed to get the test. Tested me and sure enough I was leaking and ruptured. I was ok till Sandra left the room. My mom had drove down and arrived at like 5 am. She could tell I was about to break down. Some woman can hang on ruptured but I was having intense back contractions (active labor) plus bleeding. The contraction device toco wasnt picking up my contractions due to the fact that they were in my back. So the staff thought she will hang on. I knew we weren't going to hang on. I cried.. I keep saying I wasn't ready yet.. We needed more time. I finally got it togeather and the nurse came in to tell me they were moving me to labor. They weren't going to except that my mom insisted to Sandra that she had no contractions that they could pick up on her just back labor and that I was born in 45 mins. If my mom wouldn't have insisted that my labor was replicating hers who knows what could have happened. She also insisted they start my IV fluids for antibiotics and mag for brain protection for Piper. 

Before they moved me they checked my cervix once they knew I was ruptured. I was 3 cm dilated at 12:30 pm. Once moved into the labor room, I just kept having back contractions about 5 mins apart. Dr Gei came by and said he thought I could hang on a little longer. My nurse insisted I wear these hideous huge panties and a huge pad.. I literally couldn't stop laughing at it. But soon after my whole bag of water broke and the room suddenly got chaotic. I started crying and yelled Dr Gei lied. Dr Gei was already back in Bellaire and wasn't going to make it. When they checked after my water broke, I was totally effaced and dilated and Piper was in the birth canal. They prepped the room for delivery. It was tense because I was in such denial she was coming. I just made my mom and Nate repeat natural labor, no drugs, csection only if its an emergency. I got my wish for natural labor.. But at one point I wasn't sure I could do it any more. My mom had one leg and nurse Jessica held my other leg. Nate was by my head coaching and trying not to stress too much. 

But after being told for two months never to bear down or push it was intense to push using muscles I forgot I had. One of the residents who thought I might have abruption, wasn't pleased the way my labor was progressing even though I was moving fast and was being so rough. I think if he had stayed he would have fore me. He also told Nate that there were too many cooks in the kitchen and to be quiet. 

Luckily he left the room shortly, Dr Barren and Dr Burg both female docs were gentle yet reaffirming in my ability to go natural with no meds.  They didn't have a time table they just coached me thru pushing. After 20 mins of pushing with contractions 4 mins apart, they gave me pitocin. Because the contractions were so far away Piper wasn't moving down the birth canal. Once the pitocin took effect they were the same intensity yet closer togeather. Piper was born 25 mins later. Once her head was out they said stop pushing. They slowly eased her out and Nate cut the cord. 

Once the cord was cut she was taken to a room right off of ours that I could see and the neonatal team started on her. Her apgar at one minute was 6 and at 5 mins she was an 8 (10 is perfect and many full term babies don't receive that). 

She was put on CPAP to help her lungs fill and taken off to NICU. We had to wait an hour to meet our little girl! 

Next couple pics are from her birthday. 

Piper Makenzie Embley
Born 5/21/13 at 30 weeks 3 days
Weighing at 3lbs 4 oz and 14.9 inches long. 

We are so incredibly blessed.. Please pray she grows and is healthy enough to come home soon. 

Piper is here..shower in Katy

Piper is here.. I will post pics and her birth story soon. 

But my shower invite stated it could be in Katy or at the hospital. I was released yesterday and am commuting to the NICU daily. So the shower is still on for June 1, all are welcome at 2 pm! The shower is at 6607 Crystal Forest Trail, Katy Tx 77493. I so look forward to socializing with all of y'all not from a bed!! 

Promise to post soon on Piper.. Still catching up on rest and breast pumping takes alot out of me! 


Angry uterus

Since I was admitted my uterus has been called irritable. Which is common in high risk short super c.. But this past week it hasn't been irritable. Is been plain out angry! Friday  starting at 3:30 I started contracting. It went from every 30 mins to 10 mins. Than we were every 1 minute. Contracted like this for about 5-6 hours total. The doctors say that if they turn regular, pain is different and pressure than they will check to see if I am progressing into labor. The pain was immensely different. Some I couldn't talk thru.. Just tears in my eyes. I can handle the pain becuz the first thing they ask is do you want meds for pain.. Nope. I want to feel to make sure if its different I know. But every time I would have a big painful contraction Piper's heart rate would dip. She would alway return back to normal level but she has never done that. It scared Nate & I. Finally after a couple hours things slowed.. Sandra threatened me with an IV and magically those babies quit.. Well and my husband water logged me. Fluids!! 

Saturday I woke up at 4:40 am to painful contractions.. Contracted from 4 am to lunch time. Nate was a nervous Nellie.. Pacing the room. He thought ok game time. Yet after water logging again I stopped. Than I was so exhausted I took two huge naps. My mom stayed so Nate could go home and clean the pool filter and take care of house duties such as the cats plus laundry. That's a whole week of contractions people!! Plus they were painful painful Friday and Saturday! I've never woke up in pain. 

While at home our beautiful rocker was delivered. I've only seen it via FaceTime and it is still downstairs in our dining room but its there!! Can't wait to see it in Pipers room. It's an upholstered rocker slipcovered in light pink. I wish I could be at home to nest!! 

Again on Saturday, Piper's hr was dipping. Dr Gei came by late last night (insert dedicated doctor to round at 9 on a weekend when not needed) to speak to me about the contractions and Piper. He recommended we cord map her on Wed.  He thinks she is either wrapped.. Or laying on cord compressing as I contract. Or even I have a cord prolapse which means cord comes first than baby during delivery which would require a csection. We just need to be prepared for whatever it is. He reassured me many babies are wrapped and when we contract it compresses. But we want to be sure where hers is for delivery purposes now since she hates when I contract too! 

As long as I've been here.. It would be disappointing not to have a vaginal natural birth.. But whatever needs to happen to keep my Piper safe!! So pray that the cord is where it needs to be! Also please pray that this cycle of contractions stops! We need 3 more weeks! 

Attached are my 30 week pics! Praise Jesus we are here!! Thanks for your prayers along the Way! 


Pain in back week.. Literally

Well Monday and Tuesday started my cycle of contractions. On Tuesday they got a little closer making me worrisome so I took procardia even though the dr recommended I not due to my accelerated heart rate when on it. I was willing to see how my heart would react to get one more day.. and I did buy time.. But I was still contracting later Tuesday evening so I took it again. Tuesday night was difficult. I felt awful and the contractions- well they are contractions my body hurts. I also learned that My body really can't take the procardia, so we are out of options. They tell me to hydrate, empty my bladder and not bear down during them.. Ok Coach! Got it! Too bad they seem to come all the time now! 

In addition I had this weird pain on my right side high. So they checked my gall bladder, pancreas and liver with blood work and ultrasound. Fortunately they said it is fine. The dr thinks my gall bladder was upset with me from eating alot and being introverted so long. being upside down puts pressure on the organs. So it was a relief.. Had me worried my gall bladder was going to be removed. 

Wednesday was test day.. They went well.. Actually my cervix played nice and it was the best we have ever seen it. The dr actually covered my name and showed the residents and played guess that cervix which no one assumed it was mine. Even though the test was good,  Thing is my cervix is dynamic which means its always changing so they are saying it isn't an accurate length because we have seen what it is really capable of the last 43 days!! All in all I was impressed with the super C! Dr say it was putting on a show and based on my previous lengths they are still cautious. One day it can be long and next it is short and funneling?! 

Yesterday I was still contracting. I typically contract all day every 20-30 mins but than in the evening I will get in a cycle of every ten minutes or less. After Tuesdays episode with my heart rate procardia is totally off the table. 

Yesterday even off the procardia my heart rate got pretty high. So they did an EkG. I'm also not showing signs of DVT which is a blood clot. After the pregnancy I am to get another EKG they said when my fluids return to normal. But the medicine makes me feel so bad.. Literally Tuesday I woke up to my hair soaked and sheets wet! So yesterday freaked me out when off the medication and my heart is still so high! 

It's been a crazy week on the floor too.. Everyone has been running around with their heads cut off!! I've been almost in a constant state of pain due to the contractions. The pain isn't unbearable but where I feel them is low in my groin and in my back.. They are just exhausting. I'm also in pain because Piper is heavier now and she is so low. When I say low they have to put the monitor in my pubic region to find her heart. So I have a lot of pressure from her being low and contracting which pushes her head into my cervix. 

I also started losing my mucus plug :( .. They say she can camp out for awhile but it scares me. I think all the contracting is making it come out.. They say typically it changes the length and dilation of the cervix but Dr Gei said not to check. If so they would be checking daily. He gave me the warning signs of when to check. So we wait and see... This game of constantly waiting. 


Cabin fever

This past week due to my contracting, I wasn't allowed as many freedoms. I stayed in bed.. Scared the contractions would come again & Piper would be here. We cut my shower time from 10 to 5 minutes. 

But I'm losing it in this bed! I want to be outside so bad. I dream of walking 2 miles with my dog and husband like we used to almost daily. I dream of sitting on my pool deck soaking in the rays enjoying my backyard while everything is green & in bloom. I dream of just laying outside hearing, smelling, feeling nature.  I dream of nesting in Piper's nursery. I dream of just being in my house, my stuff, my pets.. The comforts of my home..

That's all they are dreams, cuz this baby has to cook. I know that if I start walking she will come. I know that if I push the limits she will come. I know becuz the pressure and pain I've felt the last week is telling me. Yet my mind is so preoccupied with getting out of this room. 

It's selfish of me to want to do, when we have been given miraculously 4o days of cooking. When we were admitted they thought she wouldn't make it 24 weeks and at 1 lb and 5 oz her likely hood of survival was slim. 

Now we are 29 weeks and 3 days.. With a baby that is growing! She is almost 3 lbs! I'm so thankful for her health and that she has stayed put. 

Yet, my mind is playing games with me. My mind says you need to move. It's innate in humans to move- we were first hunters & scavengers. My mind says you need to be home. My mind says you need to go home and prep for Piper, you're not ready. It longs to nest in the nursery, cuz I won't have that ability once she is here. Praying I won't be in the NICU with her and we will go home. Either way I will have a baby in NICU or a newborn and not be able to nest. 

I'm missing out on the most natural thing a mother does.. Prep for baby. It's disappointing. I adore making spaces in my home special. I wanted to do that for my daughter. 

The best thing for my daughter is rest.. So I lay here while my mind hates this room. I lay here and endure every ache and pain that I'm so highly aware of becuz it's all I think about since I'm not occupied teaching. I lay here and listen to the carts roll by my room, people walking by, jealous of their movement of their hecticness. I want that feeling again, to be so busy- a 100 miles an hour. Instead, I  lay here following my schedule of nurses and dr coming in. Barely sleeping becuz the constant noise, constant checking on me, vitals needed.. It's like I'm a zombie going thru the motions. 

They said I might be able to get a short ride today if I behave.. They say behave as in no contractions. So I will drink water to stay hydrated till my eyes float as nurse Marianne says.. And cross my toes that my body behaves. I need out. Even ten minutes out now isn't enough.. 


Friday Night Update

Well Dr Gei came by later Friday afternoon and said he isn't as worried about my ultrasound. We knew my cervix was dynamic and shortening. We obviously wish it was longer but once it shortens it won't lengthen till after baby is out. The  bag is funneling when cervix funnels but they think it might have been doing that the whole time.. I truly believe her sac is strong due to the progesterone  suppository I am on.. Even though it has caused UTI. We just hope everything stays and we don't dilate or water breaks when I contract. But there will be no contractions this weekend- positive thought! 

The biggest concern from the ultrasound was that Piper is the lowest she has ever been. So Dr Gei recommended that I invert my hips as much as possible. Head down and hips up- it's known as trendelenberg. They are hoping it will take pressure off my cervix and buy us more time which I'm all for.. I just hope she stays head down like she is currently! The only downfall is the blood rushing to my head!  

My partner teacher came by yesterday also! She is so sweet and brought Nate and I this amazing basket of goodies. My school even sent teacher appreciation stuff with her! I was so surprised! It was nice after a really hard week! My favorite thing though was the Mother's Day present! She gifted me chevron bracelets that are my fav colors-turquoise and pink!! I can't wait to to wear them with my watch again. I love seeing Brittney becuz it feels natural.. Like life is almost normal! 

I can't even begin to repay her! She has done so much for me being in the hospital and it makes me so thankful! 

Nate also got us Pappas Mexican food which hit the spot when you've been eating cafeteria food for 37 days! 

Additionally, god has opened my eyes.. Being the floor ambassador I meet and hear about other ladies on the floor. We all talk via IM or text. Yesterday made me feel very thankful for making it as far as we have despite our high risk circumstances! To think we were admitted 23 weeks and Piper was 1lb and 5 oz! We are now 29 weeks 1 day with a 2lb 12 oz little girl who is a fighter!! 


We get what we get & we don't complain

"We get what we get and we don't complain!" That's the Motto in my class.. Not sure I'm upholding it here in the hospital! 

I can say at midnight I was so ecstatic that we made it to 29 weeks! But as I keep saying I want more time.. Lets get to the 30s!! 

So I was positive again for a UTI, which they think might be caused by the hormonal supplement I have to take every night that is irritating to all the girl parts. But the supplement has shown to help strengthen the cervix and sac so it's a sacrifice I make. I've been on the supplement for over two months and I can't say for sure it's keep Piper in but why change it up now?  A lot of the discomfort I was having this week they think was the uti causing contractions. Plus uti are just fun times anyhow! 

There has been lots of talk of wanting to know what my cervix was. Typcially a vaginal exam is usually needed after contractions but it stimulates the cervix and the docs are basically putting their fingers thru the cervix to see if there is dilation. This is fine if you're term but if you're trying to cook a baby and keep what little cervix you have it isn't the best. Plus it isn't accurate and can cause infection to my membranes. So Dr Gei feels the safest thing to do is an ultrasound as it isn't directly touching the cervix. 

We had an ultrasound today and Piper is now 2lbs and 12 oz.. She has grown alot since the last scan two and half weeks ago at 2 lbs. We are super thankful she is growing and becoming so strong! 

Yet as she grows, my cervix shrinks!! Like I have nothing left. I am totally effaced and showing dilation. In addition, every time my cervix changes or Piper moves (she's still head down having a party there) it causes the bag to also move into the funneling of my cervix. Fortunately I haven't shown any signs of leaking or breaking. Plus we are pretty sure that its been doing this for awhile.. It's just now my cervix is gone.  Dr Gei is pleased with my ultrasound though. So if he is confident so am I! 

From what we've been told painful contractions can cause the bag to break and me to dilate more. So now we sit and wait. I definitely lost all wheel chair privileges.  We pray that the uti was the culprit for the contractions and the next ten days on antibiotics we can just cook.. 

But we are getting nearer is what it is..this is what we get. I can't deny my body is changing and Piper doesn't know better than to push on the cervix. 

I know to some of you, you think you've bought a month and a week.. That's amazing. It is amazing but a 30 weeker will spend a big amount of time in the NICU. We are still facing odds that we wouldn't with a term child. When she comes we have a whole new battle to face. As much as I thank god for letting us get here.. I'm just terrified of the journey my lil one will go thru. I don't mean to sound ungrateful but these cards are hard to deal with. It's especially hard after a week ago I had hope of going home and making it to 32+. Now we are waiting to see when Piper arrives. I wasn't ready for that! 

Please pray and I hope all you mamas have a wonderful Mother's Day! 


Update & Prayers needed

My trusty followers are waiting for an update I know! So here are the ins and outs. 

May 7 started my first was my first 48 on iindomencin again. I was given it when I was first admitted for preterm labor. It is the hardest drug they can give for labor but it can only be given 48-72 hours depending how far along you are. Seeing as I was admitted at 23 weeks they first administered for 72 but now in the third trimester it is riskier so I'm only allowed to be on it safely 48 hours. 

After 48 hours its very determinal to Piper. It's been known to close the main artery in the heart and decrease amnotic fluid. In addition the FDA has not approved it as a long term solution drug even though some practitioners believe in using it. Fortunately, my doctors are saying we will not continue the drug after 6 pm. Which is reassuring they are proactive in protecting my child but I worry about labor! 

In addition, I can't go back on the previous drug I was on for contractions, procardia because it was causing SVT a heart condition. Which isn't good for me or baby. I don't want to have a heart disease or go into cardiac arrest and not be here for my child.

A lot of people have asked well what about mag. Mag used to be given to moms over long periods of time but studies have shown it is not good for baby or mom long term. Now they only use it in bolister when going into labor for 20-30 mins to protect baby neurologically. They will also administer in 2-3 trimester at max 12 hrs. Since I've already had my max 12 hours we are in a rough spot. 

Tonight at 6 pm is my last dose of anticontraction meds.. I turn 29 weeks at midnight! I know we will make it to 29 and its so much better than 23.. But we need more time. At this point they have done everything precautionary we can get. I've had my third dose of rescue steriods for pipers lungs. Additionally with all the contracting I didn't dilate that much more and my bag didn't break. So lets pray we can make it past Mother's Day!

 Thankfully, Dr. Gei comes in today and will be on service tomorrow. I fully trust him and he might have another plan of action. But bottom line is I'm the best advocate for my child and my body.. I don't want to be too greedy with cooking time & in the process hurt my daughter or myself. Lets see if my body does.. I believe in the power of pray.

Please pray I don't deliver Piper in the next couple days.. Thanks 


Roller coaster act 2

After an emotionally & physically exhausting day, we thought I might get a break.. Around the same time it happened before sane symptoms. Stomach nausea and diherrea.. They say the contractions cause your go tract to empty it. Than contractions intense. 

Luckily Ut doc, world recognized with over 500 published articles Dr. Sibai, was here today & he wasn't taking me to the delivery room on his watch. Dr. Sibai specializes in preeclampsia and actually saved the life of my friend Meghann & her 24 weeker Lizzie who just went home. He's a genius.. But sometimes I don't agree with him & I've surprised the residents by speaking up. He tells me dr google you're the boss! 

Yesterday his course of action was aggressive as he says this is our big guns. We're buying time to get to Friday.. 29 weeks. He said my old contraction meds wasn't working on my receptors, so I'm on indomencin for 48 hrs. it takes 2 hrs to take effect but it finally worked. In addition, my rescue steriods for Piper are running out thief life span is 2 weeks so we started there's he dose once again. There are risks to this but they outweigh the benefits right now. Took first dose at 4, so another one today. 

We are buying time literally.. I'm so extremely agitated and frustrated right now. I really can't handle your pats on the back and way to gos. I've tried hard to stay calm for piper. But I'm mad.. I'm mad were buying time and my body is prepping itself for the real deal. The drs have informed me that if Piper wants to come she is coming. Here we were getting comfortable and stable at 28 weeks and I was looking to 32 and now we are begging for 29. I'm frustrated because  I'm not ready!! I want more time.

I know you're thinking, Tricia 28 is better than 23. Yea it is and I'm grateful for that don't get me wrong but 28 weekers  struggle and go to Nicu. 28-29 is not full term. I had this glimmer of hope and its crushed... I want it back. I'm selfish and I want to make it longer. I want my baby to grow and be ok. I want to make it to Mother's Day like I promised Dr Haws who's in Maui on a beach!! By the way I was contracting and to get my mind off it they showed me pics of your wedding DrHaws.. Just as gorgeous as I thought!! 

I want to be ready and I'm not! I'm 7 months pregnant in total fear of my child's survival outside the womb. So anything you say right now as supportive as it is.. Yeah it doesn't get to me right now becuz this mama is mad! I also have a hard time taking it; because unless you've stared this dragon down.. This same dragon your heart can't comprend. It might hurt for me but it can't really understand the range of emotions I'm going thru. The physical and emotional pain. Sandra says. It's normal and I've been so positive to come so far.. But that's just it I've worked my butt off to get this far I'm not backing down now!

My dearest Piper,
  We haven't officially meet yet, but you're the one who knows my heart the best. Hears it beat daily. You're the one who knows my left hip bone like no one else. You're the one who loves to dance to my voice as Jack Johnson, Marley and Norah Jones plays. You're the one I look forward to waking in the night to feel.  I can't  begin to explain the love your father and I feel for you.. So these moments we are terrified with this unforeseen waiting. 

I can't wait to count your fingers, check your toes, see if you have your daddy's red hair and your mama nose. But I can wait a little longer. 

You see the day we heard you heart beat for the first time, we cried. Our world was forever changed. It wasn't the two of us any longer. My mama instinct kicked into High gear and you're all my world could focus on. Now that we face such uncertainty, I say to you Ill walk the ring of fire my child to save you. Ill do the unstoppable to be able to raise you. Ill let go of all my previous dreams of what this should look like to see you thrive. People tell me I'm brave, but I'm not. This is my new job and you're the brave one my dear. You're the fighter pilot and I'm just the carrier, hoping the seat belt and protective air bags are preventive enough to beat all foreseen odds! Miracles happens look we got pregnant with you! 

Everything I knew prior to this stopped, I'm no longer a teacher. I'm no longer a great friend or a sister. All I am is Piper's mother.  My identity has changed my dear all because of you. My outlook on life has forever been changed because of you. 

Your siblings brought us the same joy, but we weren't able to carry them as long. We weren't able to take them home. Their  in heaven watching over you. Daily I'm reminded of those journeys and how we prayed for you. It changed the way we take this journey. We are cautiously optimistic, but never has our love ceased its grown more.  We prayed for you before you were even in my womb. You truly are our miracle child. Already you've beaten so many odds, my heart swells with pride. But please I beg of you don't earn your angel wings too soon my child. Your Mommy's selfish heart can't take that route again. 

I love you and I know this is your show. So you keep growing and if today is the day we meet, know that my heart will swell to an unthinkable size. But if you chose to stay I will take it with no offense. 

Dearest Pip Sqeak.. Hold on. Hold on for dear life. You're the strongest one of the two of us! I need you.. With all my broken heart. You complete our puzzle. 

Your mama look up jJ heller I get to be the one.. 



Another bed rest mama wrote this song. You can find the song on YouTube. 

Roller Coaster Up.. No Down Monday

Yesterday started off like any other day in Room 544. Five am wake up call, shower in less than ten minutes and than back to bed. 5:45 residents comes to check in and around 7 breakfast and rounds begin.  It was routine, uneventful. 

The day progressed like normal, except I was more tired than normal. I tried to nap on and off but couldn't. They were waxing the floor, housekeeping, vitals, change of linens. Finally I was able to nap for 45 mins. After lunch my stomach was super queasy and I got sick. Than around my 3 pm snack I got sick again. I told the nurse and didn't think too much about it. 

Soon after Nate's aunt & cousin arrived. I was feeling cramps and pressure so I requested my contraction meds. As soon as they put me on the monitor I was contracting. Large contractions that we typically don't see. At first they were 7-9 mins apart. We waited for the meds to work. They got closer together. So they started iv fluids. Couple hours in I was having them a minute apart. They ordered me demoral and phenerogone to help stop the contractions. 

I knew the urgency of not having Piper but same time were talking about my child. I didn't want drugs in labor.. I still don't. I don't want my child whose a preemie tone slowed at risk of not breathing ok becuz of these drugs. Also, I was actively contracting.. And it wasn't the pain others described so I didn't want to take the meds so I knew what was happening. I'm also super sensitive to pain meds. I shared all these concerns with Sandra and the dr. They reassured me they could reverse the meds on baby and me. They also agreed to 1/2 a dose first. 

I was hestitant.. But the meds worked. I stopped contracting so close together. Piper got one more night. 

This wasn't a normal day. This snuck up on me. As soon as we get comfortable something happens. They checked me this morning.. I'm effaced but that's new. But I'm dilated also. Luckily it didn't dilate more from the contractions beachside that's common with no cervix. But with what happened last night it's showing my body is preparing for her.. They aren't positive I will make it to 32 now.  Next time it progresses, they will give me another round of steroids and mag before she comes. 

It's upsetting to me becuz we were stable.. We were getting recess. Now we're back to continuous meds, iv and monitoring. 

I'm thankful we made it this far.. But I had that glimmer of hope we'd make it to the 30s. 

Shower of Love & Transitions

Sunday my fourth grade team threw me a mini shower! They arrived with pink lemonade, yummy crave cupcakes and lots of love!!

Piper was spoiled with clothes, books, a gorgeous sign for her room, a hand knitted blanket and a wonderful gift card to Babies R Us from the Sunshine Club.

It was so thoughtful for them to shower me in love but what got me the most was that they all came! I missed them so very much. It's ridiculous how much I miss my work friends! When you're used to being surrounded by people as a teacher, having constant noise and chatter.. It's extremely hard to adjust to a quiet closed room with limited interaction during the day. I miss having a spot on a team and a job. I miss talking to my team mates. They love me for me, they challenge me to be better, support me and most of all make me laugh till I pee! Even with the limited interaction its in reference to your medical stats.. Thank god I have my nurse god mama Sandra to chat with or I'd lose it!! Sometimes you just want to chat! I loved hearing about my school raising money for Relay for Life and adapting it to be Relay for Recess. I love hearing funny stories about our students and just the dynamics of our group. I miss our lunches and team meetings. I've said it so many times I work with AMAZING people and as much as I want Piper healthy I'm looking forward to next school year!

I'm on hormone supplement daily and than you add being pregnant.. Um yes a little hormonal. So hormonal Saturday Nate accidentally hung up on me and I started crying. I cry at commercials.. And as soon as my team left I cried! I cried. Cried happy tears that they came but sad tears because I don't get to go back with them. And yelled I love you to each one as they walked down the hall! My night nurse just thought this girl has lost her marbles. She's like it's ok.. I told her.. No this place sucks and I miss them! She laughed but it is hard! Bedrest is bad rest as Dr Sibai states!

I've kinda been termed the floor ambassador, when I hear there is a new patient I try to send a note with a magazine or something sweet. My family and friends have greatly supported me in this journey and some are not so fortunate. On top of that it really helps to have people going they the same thing! So today when the docs made rounds they asked what the hardest part of this is.. My partner brought me a pic of my students and its on my bedside table.. I showed her the pic and said I left these kids, I left my pets, I left my job and my friends. I left my whole self! But she meant the transition to living in the hospital and that is the schedule of mess, vitals, tests, rounds. Even if you want to sleep it literally takes 7 days to learn how to in this place. There is constant in and out of your room at night. But also the lack of a daily routine.. So I've tried to establish a daily routine. But even than its hard! Some days are easier.

Thankfully I have wonderful friends and family. From what I hear typically the visitors slow down and drop off but my support system has stayed steady! It means so much to have support when you can't do for yourself. So many people care about my needs and it makes my heart shine. I can't express my gratitude!


Outside adventure

Friday I was officially 28 weeks!! It such a milestone and with that milestone comes more privileges like I'm able to get in a wheelchair and go down the hall to see my friends that are patients..they are calling me the floor ambassador! When I hear a new UT patient has been admitted I try and send a note with magazines. I've made a good friend in a similar situation and we started the super c club.
On Friday, the super c club had lunch! I got lunch out of my room!! We went to the sun room on the children's floor. i was so happy to hear children playing and giggling. Made my heart sing!! Each week comes less restraint.. At 30 we get to walk a little more- scares me since my cervix is nothing and gravity!

I also found out I gained more weight which is great for Piper- she's turning into a big girl! The 6 times a day eating is helping piper grow and grow!! On ultrasound day she wouldn't show us her face, she had both arms up and one of her feet kicking the top of the womb! She was like get out of here! We watched her practice breathing sucking in amniotic fluid. Got to see her blink and turn in my belly.

Friday night my mom stayed again to let Nate go home and do errands. He also played golf for the first time in months.. Our agreement was 28 weeks = golf for daddy! Mom shaved my legs for me- which I so greatly appreciate. We watched hgtv and talked.

Saturday-28 weeks 1 day!

Saturday, my mom left and Nate returned. I'm getting so tired of wearing pjs all day everyday so he brought me some of my maternity clothes and some cotton sun dresses. It's nice to get dressed on certain days.

My good friend from work, Missy Miller came to see me and brought me a salad.. Oh I adore her- the salads here suck!!! She made me crack up for a couple hours. After they left Nate rolled me downstairs across the street to the park!! They said I could stay outside longer if I wasn't contracting and laying down. So we took a blanket outside and chilled. I watched kids play, a man juggle, the homeless, squirrels and birds!! I loved every minute of it. After an hour we went back in!! You appreciate nature more when you've been locked down for 30 days!!

In medical news I'm not contracting as much as I was- which means the meds and bedrest are working. They decided if I make it to 32 weeks they will be sending me home for bedrest and Piper will be delivered between 34-36. I will only go home if my cervix behaves.. so lets hope in the next four weeks the super c is super!! There are many reasons I would deliver between 34-36, but the biggest is my health. I'm risk for blood clots being on long term rest. Plus Piper received the steriods. They have discovered between my butt and thigh on my left side is a hemo something- basically a blood blister from the pressure of my whole body and being on bedrest laying on my side. They measured it and marked me (circled to see if it grows). Hoping it doesn't. I alternate sides but definitely favor the left. So if you could pray that I stay healthy as Piper grows longer please!

Well below are pics from Friday and yesterday!!


Wed.. No more cervix measurements! Happy Wedding Dr Haws!

I know its horrible to have favorites. All the UT doctors are amazing and dedicated. But when you see the same doctor daily, you make a connection with that person and are much more comfortable with them. That person for me the last 28 days has been (resident) Dr. Haws. She is my consistency when I see a different head doc daily. Well my nurse Sandra is my consistency also, but she better not leave me :)!! I'd be devastated if Dr Haws and than Sandra was off my service!!

When I first meet Dr. Haws, I thought she was very shy and quiet.. But as time went on I looked forward to her doing her rounds because she don't just talk shop.. Meaning she didn't come in ask me medical questions and run. She would tell me about her shopping excursions, her upcoming wedding and honeymoon or the recent celebrity gossip. It helped take my mind off things. Sandra is also wonderful in helping take my mind off things! In addition she wasn't pretentious like some other doctors. Nate and I both are super comfortable asking her anything about my health. She has been here in stressful times to break the news and than to remind me you're doing great! She recently even said that Piper always looks beautiful and healthy on her monitoring. Best 27 weeker shes seen on monitoring!! Go Piper!! She took a personal interest in my case. So much so she dreamed I delivered Piper and when she delivered her she was 7# 5oz!! She said to me it had to be because I was thinking of you as I left work Friday. That's a dedicated doc! Let's hope the dream is right.

Well Dr Haws is off to get married this Saturday and than off for her honeymoon in Maui.. Nate and I are so jealous of her trip!! We are going to relive it all thru her! Can't wait to hear about her adventures!

As much as I want her to have a beautiful wedding and relaxing honeymoon, it means that I got a new Dr Haws. This morning the new resident came in to do rounds at 5:30 and I was so out of it. So out of it that Nate heard me tell the nurse at my 4am check in "I'm fine, leave me alone". Pregnancy sleep is needed hello?! I finally came too, when the new resident asked if she could turn on a light so i could remember her face.. and I asked are you the new Dr Haws? I didn't tell her that she couldn't replace my favorite doc! But I sure was thinking it! When Dr Haws returns she will be on nights which means she won't make rounds much on my floor unless emergency. But at least if I deliver at night she will be here! It means so much to have a doctor that cares truly for their patients and takes time to explain things. I will miss seeing her every morning! Thankful I have my trusty Sandra during the day, Dr Gei on the weekends and Dr Haws on at the Dr who admitted me from Katy Dr. Refugio (UT too) is on most of the month of May. So if I did deliver I have some one I greatly trust! I admire all the UT docs, you just connect with some more than others.

Today was test day Wed.. But we won't be measuring my cervix anymore. Since I'm almost 28 weeks and my cervix is so short there is a fear of breaking my water. So no more measurements. Which is a good thing and a bad thing.. it means that I'm out of the woods since I'm 28 weeks but it also is scary about the bag breaking. Additionally , we won't see Piper on ultrasound for another two weeks. We do get to hear at least twice daily when they monitor her heart but it stinks we won't see her weekly when they measure. But the thought is the cervix is short and I haven't delivered, so why upset it and send her into labor. I totally understand the logic, just frightening to think its that short that its an actual fear of labor inducing to measure. The tech told me most doctors stop measuring at 24 weeks since that is when a pregnancy is viable. But, many high risk docs like weekly measurements. We did get to see Piper and she is beautiful as always.

After my ultrasound today, I got a wheel chair ride to the park on the tenth floor children's center park. We thought it had real trees but it is faux trees with beautiful glass leaves. I still yearned to go outside so Nate took me outside for my ten minutes. It was so nice to see trees and hear birds and feel the sunlight!!! Ten minutes goes by fast but it was awesome!!

Afterwards, Gemma and Marty brought us lasagna and salad! It was so delicious and we played cards!

My meds are getting more normalized.. I feel better. I can't believe it will be a month Friday and we will be 28 weeks!! Amazing! Third trimester and welcome 7 months!!! It's truly a miracle we have made it this far we are so thankful to have made it past 24 weeks! It's a world of difference for preemies!