What we pray for..

One of my bestest friends in the whole wide world just started her own blog of her adorable family of four. Upon seeing she had a blog I had to share mine! Well once I did she started reading mine and it made me go back and reflect..

It's amazing that words can have such power because I was reading some of the entries from over a year ago and it brought me to tears. Life is not without battles yet so many people still like to pretend its all butterflies and daisies. As I read my entries I feel the pain and happiness of my past and I know Gods plan was not mine but his. I know I needed to feel so I could feel now.

I'm laying in bed today sick.. Not physically ill from illness just this wonderful thing called pregnancy. Was up all night sick.. Let my tone not inflict that I'm ungrateful. I am so not. I've prayed so feverishly for a child it still brings me to tears. Because not long ago if you asked me if I knew I'd be a mother I'd say yes of course but that little voice in my head was so fearful. And yet daily I'm still fearful.. Fearful this is a dream and ill wake up. Fearful something dreaded will happen to this child I love so deeply already. I pray daily still thanking god for my child and praying of health for he or she. I pray because that's the only handle on this fear. As much as I'd like to not be sick and have a glowing pregnancy I remind myself this is God answering your prayers. Stop being selfish and carry on!

And my friend the one who I mentioned above, she has had her own share of life which is her story to tell but she kindly reminds me when I'm feeling so physically weak today that this is a miracle! And miracles don't cease without sacrifice right?! Or is that just pregnancy?
She reminds me to be thankful and to power on.

Gods amazing.. He brings us these people who really help us through. He has blessed my family with so much I can't comprehend right now.

So as sick as I am I will rejoice! Baby bean we've waited for you for so long and I can't wait to meet you. I've prayed for you and I will continue to. So keep on growing.. Keep on letting me know you're there!